On Getting Old

I will be starting my 88th year on this planet on October 22. Until recently, I didn't really feel old. I used to tell people that if I didn’t know my age, I’d consider myself to be in my forties. I traveled the world for work, hopping from city to city, lecturing to large crowds, and surviving sleepless nights due to jet lag without collapsing. I went through dialysis, a kidney transplant, and surgery on my cervical spine, yet I still felt full of energy. But this year, everything changed. I suddenly feel like I'm aging rapidly, almost mirroring how quickly I grew up.

When you haven’t seen a toddler for a few months and then see them again, you’re amazed at how much they’ve grown. Aging feels similar; it happens quickly. From month to month, the signs of aging become more pronounced. In Hebrew, there’s a phrase that describes aging: “old age jumped on him,” which conveys the surprise of it all.

What caused me to feel old? What changed?

It began when my knees started hurting badly, making it difficult to walk. This loss of mobility was a turning point; like a company that loses its flexibility and ability to adapt, I felt myself aging.

There are signs of aging beyond just physical limitations. I’ve come to realize that I probably have only a few years left to live, and the thought that I might not achieve everything I wanted in time has depressed me. My attitude shifted; instead of focusing on how to contribute to life, I began to think about what I could take from it. I wanted to travel and enjoy every remaining minute, prioritizing my own happiness over sacrificing my life for others. While I felt I was becoming somewhat selfish, I also found myself more tolerant. It just didn’t seem worth it to fight for anything anymore.

I’ve also noticed that the days feel shorter. Time flies by, even though I’m less active or engaged than I used to be.

Another change I've observed is the increasing importance I place on respect. I find myself insisting on it more than ever. Curiously, I’ve also become somewhat stingy. It’s not that I lack financial resources—I continue to earn as I always have—but I’ve become more careful about spending as if I’m afraid there won’t be enough in the future.

Is this the beginning of the end?

I began looking at how others approach aging, and I found inspiration in Eva, a 94-year-old friend. Despite her limited mobility, she continues to walk—albeit with a walker. She’s generous with her money, supporting numerous philanthropic causes and striving to remain relevant. She encourages planting a tree, even if you won’t be able to enjoy its shade.

Until recently, she traveled the world, actively supporting projects that make a difference. She wasn’t just writing checks; she was engaged, sitting on boards, and keeping her mind sharp. More importantly, she surrounded herself with younger people—almost her grandchildren’s age—which helped keep her feeling young as she worked to keep up with them. Unfortunately, her peers were passing away, but her younger friends remained.

Eva exercises daily with a personal trainer and swims for an hour each day. While she may look old, her behavior reflects that of a younger person.

Aging is inevitable, but behaving old is not. I decided to follow Eva.  I’m starting to write a new book now. I’ve cut back on travel for work in order to earn. I will travel and work but only if it gives me pleasure.  I’m seeking situations that make me laugh, as laughter is a sign of a good quality of life. No more brooding. As for the aches and pains that come and go, I’ll manage them through massage and movement. “Motion is lotion,” says my trainer.

Aging in a number of years is inevitable. Aging behaviorally is not.  And as long as you have a reason to live, you will feel young.

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