What is Home?

Today I left Israel and took the flight to go home. My flight was taking me to Santa Barbara to my beautiful house, on a ranch, but was it my “home”?

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Once at dinner time, I was talking to a client of mine. I told him that I was building a home in Israel. He said “home” is where the kids are, where the family is. At that time all my kids were still in high school and still at home. So, I canceled my plans for Israel and stayed in California.

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That is not the case anymore. All my kids have their own families, and they are scattered all over the globe. I see them at the family reunion once a year unless I travel to visit them. So where is “home?”

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My latest insight is that it is the place you feel most “at home” which means comfortable with the culture, where you feel you belong, where you laugh the most or cry the most because you care. It is a place where the music makes you emotional, where places evoke memories, a place where you have friends you can call anytime because you need help and they will show up.

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And that is what happened to me in Israel on this trip.

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I have been in Israel just a few days after being in Serbia. Northern Macedonia and Montenegro. I gave lectures there, was hosted, and ate local food and by the time I arrived in Tel Aviv, I was quite exhausted. I started throwing up. Had a high fever, low blood pressure, and problems relieving myself.

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It was late Friday night. I needed a doctor. We called my friend from high school, a good friend from sixty years ago, Raphy, who ordered me immediately to go to the emergency room. We go there. Raphy is waiting, taking me to the trauma center,doctors and nurses, immediately descend on me giving me antibiotics and making a dozen tests. I was on the verge of losing my life.

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An E. coli bacteria got into my bloodstream and started attacking my gut and I was having weeks of “Moctezuma revenge”, moved to my urinal track and then to my transplanted kidney which was inoperative for nine hours. If it continued expanding, if I came three or more hours later to the hospital, I would have been a goner.

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He stayed with me and with my wife till one in the morning, till we were put in the recuperation room. He did not miss a day to visit me for the two weeks that I was in the hospital taking strong antibiotics into my veins. As soon as the news of my hospitalization was known we had a string of calls asking if they could visit and if we needed any help. Those calling were friends from many years back, from the army service days, from the undergraduate studies, none expected anything in return. It was just love, a deep friendship that no length of years can destroy. Where else do I have friends like this? Where else do I feel love like this? Only at “Home”.

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I went to Israel to see if I could contribute with my experience and find a solution to the crisis Israel is in. I met with the former Prime Minister, generals of the military, with academics. I hope I made a difference (what I recommended is on my video blog already shared with the blog audience).